Let’s be honest: academia is a nonstop invitation machine.
Want to serve on this committee?
Could you help write this grant?
Would you mind mentoring just one more student?
Are you free to attend this Tuesday meeting that definitely could’ve been an email?
And for those of us who care — really care — about the mission, the people, the outcomes… every ask can sound important. Every opportunity feels like one we “should” say yes to.
But here’s the thing: your time and energy are not infinite. Your calendar is not a character reference. And a thoughtful “no” can be far more aligned than an automatic “yes.”
Values Are Your Filters, Not Just Your Ideals
You’ve already defined your values. Now it’s time to actually use them. Not just in lofty mission statements or hallway posters, but in the minute-to-minute mechanics of how you say yes and no.
When the next request comes in, your values should be your first checkpoint.
Does this project align with my values of discovery and clarity?
Will this committee let me lead with impact or just drain my energy?
Am I saying yes out of strategy — or pressure?
If it doesn’t align, it’s not for you. And if it does align — fantastic. But now you get to choose how you engage, when you engage, and what boundaries you’ll need to keep it aligned over time.
Alignment Isn’t Always Obvious (At First)
Some opportunities are like glittering conference swag: they look good until you’re stuck with them.
Other opportunities are slow burns — they don’t sparkle, but they quietly move the needle on things you care about.
Learning to filter the noise is a practice. It takes slowing down your response time, asking better questions, and checking for alignment before you check your calendar.
Here are five questions I ask myself:
- Does this align with my mission and values?
- Will this create clarity, not just activity?
- Does this energize me or deplete me?
- Am I choosing this from strategy or pressure?
- Is there joy in this — or at least a path back to it?
I don’t need to answer all five with a yes. But if I strike out on most, it’s a no. A graceful, clear, purpose-protecting no.
This Week’s Practice
Look at one thing on your calendar or to-do list that you said yes to recently. Then, ask yourself: was that yes aligned with your values? Or was it reflex, guilt, or “maybe this will look good later”?
If it wasn’t aligned, you don’t need to cancel it (though you can). But you do need to learn from it.
Alignment isn’t about perfection — it’s about pattern recognition.
The more you practice checking for value-fit early, the less likely you’ll find yourself buried in obligations that make you feel resentful, scattered, or exhausted.
Because your calendar should be a reflection of your True North, not your inbox.
Article publié pour la première fois le 20/10/2025
