People Will Forget What You Did—But Not How You Made Them Feel
In Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect, Will Guidara emphasizes a principle that is both widely recognized and frequently underestimated: people may forget what was said or done, but they will not forget how they felt in the moment. This insight carries particular weight in research administration, where interactions are often brief, transactional, and embedded within high-stakes environments. While the technical components of our work—accurate submissions, compliant processes, and timely responses—are essential, it is the emotional experience surrounding those interactions that ultimately defines how our work is perceived and remembered (Guidara, 2022).
Within academic research settings, faculty and trainees routinely operate under significant pressure. Grant deadlines, regulatory requirements, and competing professional demands create an environment where even routine administrative interactions can feel consequential. In this context, research administrators are not simply facilitators of process; they are also stabilizers of experience. A response that is technically correct but rushed, unclear, or impersonal may inadvertently increase stress, even if it resolves the immediate issue. Conversely, a response that is equally accurate but delivered with clarity, reassurance, and attentiveness can reduce anxiety and build confidence. The distinction lies not in the outcome, but in the emotional impact of how that outcome is delivered.
This distinction becomes especially important when considering the cumulative effect of interactions over time. Individual exchanges—an email, a meeting, a quick clarification—may seem minor in isolation, but collectively they shape how faculty and scholars experience the research environment. Trust is not built through a single moment of excellence, but through consistent, positive emotional experiences across many interactions. When individuals feel supported, understood, and respected, they are more likely to engage proactively, communicate openly, and view research administration as a partnership rather than a barrier. In this way, emotional impact becomes a critical, though often invisible, driver of program effectiveness.
Guidara’s broader argument—that hospitality is about creating meaningful emotional connections—translates directly into this context. Hospitality in research administration is not about adding unnecessary complexity or effort; it is about delivering existing work in a way that acknowledges the human experience. This may involve small but intentional shifts, such as acknowledging the stress associated with a deadline, providing reassurance alongside guidance, or structuring communication in a way that prioritizes clarity and ease. These actions do not change the technical content of the work, but they fundamentally change how that work is experienced.
For research administrators, this perspective invites a reconsideration of professional impact. If the success of our work is measured solely by accuracy, we overlook a significant dimension of value. Emotional impact—how individuals feel as they navigate complex systems—is equally important. It influences not only immediate interactions, but also long-term relationships, institutional trust, and the overall perception of the research enterprise. By attending to this dimension with the same level of intentionality applied to technical execution, research administrators can elevate their role from process managers to experience designers.
Ultimately, the question is not whether we are doing the work correctly, but whether we are doing it in a way that people will remember positively. Accuracy ensures completion; emotional impact ensures connection. In environments where stress is high and stakes are significant, that connection is not incidental—it is essential.
Action Items for Research Administrators
- Pause before responding to a request and consider the emotional context. What might this person be experiencing in this moment?
- Add one sentence of reassurance or clarity to your next communication (e.g., “You’re on track,” or “This is a common step—happy to walk through it with you”).
- Review your recent emails and assess tone: Are they clear, supportive, and human, or purely transactional?
- Identify one recurring interaction (e.g., onboarding, deadline reminders) and intentionally redesign it to reduce stress and increase confidence.
- Commit to consistency in tone and responsiveness, recognizing that trust is built over time through repeated positive experiences.
People may forget the process. They will remember the experience.
